It’s difficult to change careers, whether by choice or by circumstances beyond our control. On one hand, the concept of career reinvention and a greater level of professional satisfaction can be exhilarating. On the other hand, there’s a deep sense of sadness and loss when we lose our professional identity.

That’s because our professional identity is more than a job title. It’s who we are, how we define ourselves, and how others define us as well. Being part of that professional group gives us a sense of community and belonging. When our status or affiliation in that group is gone, most question their very existence: “Who am I if I’m no longer an attorney or financial analyst, an academic or engineer?”

That intense loss felt when changing careers and shifting professional identity is akin to the series of emotions that follow the loss of a loved one or the end of a long-term relationship. In her groundbreaking book, “On Death and Dying”, published in 1969, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross outlined the five stages of grief experienced when faced with the loss associated with terminal illness or death. These are the same five stages of grief that apply to any form of significant loss, including the loss of your former professional self.

 1.  Denial

The grieving process often begins with denial, which is revealed externally in our lack of purpose or drive, boredom, and unhappiness with work. Our inner voice whispers: “This is not the dream career I’d hoped it would be. It’s time to consider a change.” Yet we’re unable or unwilling to acknowledge the situation for what it is.

2.  Anger

As reality sinks in, denial morphs into anger and resentment. Career changers begin to ask themselves: “How could this be happening to me?” “I’ve invested so much time, energy, and financial resources in the pursuit of this career path.” “This is not how it was supposed to turn out.” That anger may be directed toward our organization, our boss, or our colleagues. Friends and family might become the target of those frustrations, as well. Even worse, we may feel anger toward ourselves.

3.  Bargaining

Some career changers turn next to bargaining, dusting off and getting back on their horse. Many try to convince themselves that there’s still some way that they can make their current career fit. They think: “I can make this work. It’s not that bad. If I/my boss/this organization would just….”

4.  Depression

When bargaining doesn’t work and the full weight of the situation takes hold, many career changers find themselves in the grip of deep sadness or depression. These are normal responses to any loss including that associated with an impending career change. Everyone has the right to wallow in this sadness. Just be mindful so you don’t get stuck in this stage.

5.  Acceptance

Alas, we find acceptance. Instead of focusing on the past, we look forward to the future. We make the choice to change our career path and feel genuine hope that our future path will be a much better fit.

Not everyone making a major career change will experience this process. However, many do encounter at least one or two stages, if not all, before ultimately changing course. If any of these emotions resonate with you, recognize that grief is a natural and healthy response to loss and find comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in your experience. In next month’s post, I’ll discuss how to move forward if you find yourself stuck in any of these stages.

 

About the author

Dara Wilson-Grant is a Licensed Professional Counselor. Her focus is on career-related issues, including career change, professional development, and workplace challenges. Dara’s career management workshops have been presented at universities, government agencies and research institutions.